Temporarily born from disillusioned hopes and wishes,
This fabricated never-land fairy tale is all I have to grasp.
Smiling, mythical creatures surround me with their warmth,
And for a moment I am transported into the euphoric womb.

Casual words of encouragement, powerful words of compliment,
All glide out of that mouth with veteran ease and amateur impatience.
Drinking the sweetest water of those words, I am but a lost soul in this desert.
For my survival, I let the words fall over me like a waterfall, my mind wide open.

At the edge of my mind, teetering off confusion, over looking realization, is a thought.
Desperate to let itself known, it bombards my senses, seeking a revelation.
Searching through my attic I try my hardest to find the missing screw.
Giving up, it has become clear that the screw has fallen between the cracks.

Though through all this there exists the proverbial black cloud, acid rain and all.
Close my eyes clench my fists and hope for that rainbow to destroy the rain,
Yet there is no rainbow, no pot of gold, only a cloud and a mocking leprechaun.
I cease all my actions, and sit down on the floor, knowing what is going to surely come.

Never matter how close, never matter the cloud may disperse and leave,
Each time that cloud comes riding in with its three companions, it is time to give up.
Fear is what breeds my obedience, and through that fear I am but a broken dog.
As the sky darkens, a whimper escapes and my tail seeks shelter as I cower.

Rather it be my perverse thoughts that dream up the daily nightmares,
Or a cynical literal mind destined to pop the bubbles I wishfully dream up,
They are nothing more than irrational restrictions that I have learned to detest.
What to do, but wait for Hell to pass me over, and let me return to my daily life.

Honestly I am but a piece on a game board, destined by others.
But what leads me is not a shaking hand, but images and thoughts that play twice over.
They dance around each other, moving in my minds eye as a leaf in the autumn wind.
They take the shape of my friends, and they take the shape of my star, and they guide.

Somehow this is just enough to keep the life pumping through my veins,
After thinking of seeing that star, way up high in the sky, gleaming and lighting my way,
A smile forms around the corners of my mouth, and the star becomes my pupil.
They mix, and the star is just a radiating sailboat destined for greatness.

More thought is poured into my emotional well, just as more is leaked out.
I know what I want, that is to visit the stars, to be in a metaphoric heaven.
My mind has other goals, other desires, and it rules over me with fierce brutality.
It thrusts uncertainty and doubt, drowning out the courage that flows freely.

Although in the past, I have been down this path before, never had I been so blinded.
Blinded by my awe over the beauty that can exists inside and outside,
Blinded by my own selfish fears and my puppy experience to what can be.
My eyes are hurting, so I seek in my dreams a chance to sleep.

I am thrown out of my dream by talons of jealousy and hatred,
I am slung across the room, broken and tattered by apathy and doubt.
And the swinging fists of my impossible fears shatter my ambitions.
In the end, I am just lying in my torn room crying to stop crying.

All of this is done for that quest to achieve what I yearn for.
A tragic epic is sure to be played out, I the dying hero.
For that star, that irreplaceable fragment that completes my broken heart,
For the end to insanity, and the beginning to understanding my life.